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Key Takeaways
Fatherhood doesn’t make you an expert—it makes you responsible and willing to learn as you go.
If there’s no resistance, there’s no real growth.
Real responsibility means owning what you can control—and letting go of the rest.
The Myth of Dad Knowledge
In a recent conversation with Larry Hagner, I told a story that still makes me smile.
When I was in high school, my best friend and I had this goofy idea. We were convinced that when you became a dad, you unlocked something—some hidden reserve of Dad Knowledge. Like a software update. Suddenly you’d know how to change a tire, fix whatever was broken, and calmly handle things adults always seemed to know how to handle.
At the time, it made perfect sense. Dads looked confident. Certain. Capable.
Then I became a dad.
And slowly—sometimes uncomfortably—I realized something no one ever says out loud:
There is no download.
No ceremony. No moment where you’re handed the manual. You’re just handed responsibility—and expected to move.
Most parents aren’t experts.
They’re just learning faster than they ever had to before.
That “dad knowledge” I assumed other men had wasn’t magic at all.
It was crossed fingers and hoping things worked.
It was experience—earned the hard way.
Through trial and error, mistakes, late nights, and figuring things out in real time because someone else depended on it.
From the outside, it looks like confidence.
From the inside, it feels more like willingness.
Willingness to try.
Willingness to ask.
Willingness to admit you don’t know—and learn anyway.
Your kids don’t need an expert. They don’t need you to know everything. What they need is a dad who steps up even when he doesn’t feel ready.
Because that’s the real shift that happens.
Becoming a dad doesn’t make you an expert. It makes you responsible—and willing to learn faster than you ever have before.
And it turns out, that’s more than enough.
Write while you hold the baby
You should not have to wait for quiet to get things done. Wispr Flow turns your spoken thoughts into final-draft writing so you can reply to messages, draft a school email, or update a freelance brief while caring for your family. It removes filler, corrects punctuation, formats lists, and keeps your tone so sending is one step. Works on Mac, Windows, and iPhone. Try Wispr Flow for parents.
There is no growth without friction.
Real growth almost always requires resistance, discomfort, and effort you can’t bypass.
The most life-changing advice I (Matt, not me) ever got
A thoughtful, grounded take from Matt D’Avella on personal responsibility—why owning what you can control builds real agency, and why blaming yourself for everything else quietly drains it.
Until next time—
🔥Keep the fires burning,
— Clay
P.S. I’d rather grow Campfire Gentleman through real connections than algorithms.
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