In partnership with
Morning — it’s Clay.
As we close out 2025, I keep coming back to one uncomfortable truth: most of us already know exactly what we want. But wanting isn’t the hard part. Doing… that’s the part we avoid.
This week’s article is about that gap—the space between the life we say we want and the discomfort we keep dodging (me included). 🔥
Everyone Wants to Go to Heaven, but Nobody Wants to Die
You’ve probably heard the Jack Canfield quote:
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
Whether he actually said it or not is up for debate — but the idea is solid.
But, I think you could swap out one word and make it even more true:
Everything you want is on the other side of discomfort.
Fear gets the spotlight. Discomfort gets ignored.
But in my experience, that’s the real barrier for most of us.
Most men don’t avoid changing their lives because they’re terrified.
They avoid it because they don’t want to be uncomfortable.
We want the results without the cost.
We want transformation without friction.
We want “heaven”… without anything that feels like dying.
You want a better marriage?
You’ll likely have to face the discomfort of a marriage retreat — actually talking, actually listening, actually being honest.
You want to get stronger?
You’ll deal with the discomfort of sore muscles, early alarms, and showing up when motivation hit the snooze button.
You want better friendships?
You’ll face the discomfort of sending the first text, making the first plan, and risking being the one who cares more.
You want to be more present with your kids?
You’ll sit through the discomfort of putting the phone down — even when it feels like your mental escape hatch.
You want more clarity and purpose?
You’ll walk straight into the discomfort of silence, where all the thoughts you’ve been outrunning finally catch you.
You want a healthier relationship with money?
You’ll tolerate the discomfort of telling yourself “no” today so you can say “yes” later.
You want peace?
You’ll step into the discomfort of boundaries, hard conversations, and ending the habits that keep creating your stress.
You want a meaningful life?
You’ll deal with the discomfort of letting your old self die — piece by piece — so a new one can grow.
We all want the payoff.
We just don’t want the part that feels like sacrifice, humility, discipline, or vulnerability.
But the truth is simple:
Discomfort is the doorway.
Most of us just don’t want to knock.
Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
A Year-End Reckoning
As we wrap up 2025, the question isn’t what you want next year.
Most of us already know what we want.
A stronger marriage.
A healthier body.
Closer friendships.
More purpose.
Less noise.
More meaning.
The real question is far simpler — and far harder:
What discomfort are you finally willing to step into?
Because nothing changes on its own.
Not on January 1st.
Not because you bought a new planner.
Not because the calendar flipped.
Change happens when a man decides that staying the same is more painful than becoming someone new.
Next year won’t be different because you want it to be.
It’ll be different because you do something different.
And different is always uncomfortable.
Until next time—
keep the fires burning.
– Clay
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